The Brazilian by Rosie Millard

A vajazzle is a fashion statement more talked about than actually seen but a Brazilian is your passport into the world not only of bored middle class house-wives but the media bubble of the reality tv star.

This could be TOWIE does the Balearics with a hint of the outdoor challenges of I’m a Celebrity…….and in “Ibiza or Bust” we have the usual eclectic collection of aspiring Z listers desperately trying to scamble up the alphabetical ladder of stardom.

Rosie Millard gives a balanced and humorous perspective of life at the TV coalface as the cynical film-makers can’t help but exploit the insecurities and vanities of tabloid disciples seeking to optimise their ounce of talent.
In Philip, the artistic prima donna we have the archetypal faux celebrity playing up to the cameras and confusing pretence with reality and giving real irony to his professional billing. Yet to win the contest you need to play the game and for that you need to immerse yourself in the murky talent pool of inappropriately dressed piranhas who wins the hearts and warped minds of the viewing public and captivate the eye of the director such that their banal soundbites make the final cut.

Jane is the outsider who like a devout camp follower migrates to Ibiza in the hope of becoming one of the followed. She sees the show as a shop window for her talents without really understanding where her talent lies. Much sniggering derives from the ambition of these individuals who move from walking over hot coals to potentially deadly swimming challenges to prove themselves worthy of paparazzi attention.

Alan, the financial guru, and Gemma the needy property expert get caught up in the social minefield of innuendo and ambition but it’s the superficiality of the reality tv star that make you squirm when appearance becomes everything because substance takes too long to achieve.

The bubble of fame is quickly burst when they return home to the privacy of their London homes where tv cameras are absent and performing is replaced by unobserved behaviour, out of the spotlight.. They have been moved from the zoo and returned to their natural habitat, for everyones’ safety.

The Brazilian by Rosie Millard (Legend Press. Price £8.99). Buy it at Amazon.

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